Permission to Evolve

 

 

I find myself on the brink of a new dream.  My childhood dream was for me to become a “movie star” and, as I became an adult, I felt I owed it to myself, and secretly to others, to become one.  But with that “dream,” I often felt as if there was no gas in my tank, and that I was running on fumes.   That “dream” made me feel empty.

I’ve tried to revive this dream from different angles, yet I have always, in some way or another, encountered road blocks which, again secretly, I welcomed.  These blocks gave me the chance to consider other options, or another path altogether.

But, I was afraid.

I was afraid that I would be letting myself down and that little me from the ‘80s.  But, I was more afraid that I would let others down, others that expected me, and in one or another case required me, to accomplish this dream.

But, I live as a nonconformist, always have, and … I suppose I always will.  So, why should I conform to this “dream”?  Because I have the talent for it?  Because it is what I “always” said I would be?  Because it’s what people come to expect, and even only expect of me?

News flash: I am not my talent!

I’ve gotten to a point where using my talent on stage seems to satisfy everyone but me.  Little do some know, I am a kaleidoscope with many facets of shiny brilliant light that, with each turn or shift (in life) reflects such original and unique artistry.  It took me a while to realize this about myself, and also, to accept it.

I thank God for my childhood “dream.”  It just set me up for my true calling.  Ah, how I adore my Heavenly Father.  He knows exactly what He is doing.